


Adele haunts the sleep deprived

by USSRomanoff



Series: 15/100 challenge [4]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Crush, F/M, Gen, Guilt, Not officially in a relationship, Unable to Sleep, and they should be, but she wants him, fighting between friends, musing late at night, probably will with the hints in this new issue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 01:58:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5439233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/USSRomanoff/pseuds/USSRomanoff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kate can't sleep (not a rare occurance since the kids) and she thinks about her fight with Clint.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adele haunts the sleep deprived

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: 70. Bitter silence

After a few days Clint stopped calling Kate's phone. He never sent a text or left a voicemail, an her ignoring his calls discouraged him from calling more. Kate frowned at her phone screen. She didn't want to admit she was annoyed he gave up that easily. She laid awake late at night a week after he stopped calling, unable to sleep. 

She was mad at him, but being away from him didn't seem to help her mood. She still feel guilty for what had happened to those kids, anger at herself for not doing more. They were children and she let them be taken. She allowed them to go back to that life she'd briefly freed them from. She knew they wouldn't be treated like the children they were but as things, weapons. And it ate at her. 

Maybe that was why she was so angry with Clint, he didn't seem bothered. It didn't eat away at his conscience, keeping him up at night. Or it could, but he refused to talk about his feelings, still she didn't think it weighed on him the same. He was so jaded now and just accepted things were too difficult. In a lot of ways she found he wasn't the person she looked up to. 

Kate rolled on to her side and let out a groan. Glancing at the clock it was already four am and hopes of any decent sleep were dwindling fast. She unlocked her phone and stared at it before she opened her photos and started scrolling through them. She paused on one she snapped when Lucky had stolen Clint's sandwich out his hand. Clint looked surprised at the dog and Lucky looked proud as can be. 

America said she didn't need him, and Kate had agreed with her. But that wasn't exactly true. She needed him too, maybe not like he needed her but she did. She told herself it wasn't because of the stupid crush she'd been holding onto. Clint was the wrong guy to fall for, she knew that, she saw often enough the pieces of his past relationships. It wasn't anything to envy. But those feelings aside, maybe she did need a more jaded outlook to keep her grounded. She too often felt like she could take on the world and fix anything. Which wasn't true, she had limits, but it was hard to remember without his voice to remind her. 

He was also her friend. They were close, knew intimate details about each other. She missed talking with him, ordering pizza after archery practice and taking turns scratching Lucky's belly. They hadn't been like that for a while because she couldn't let go of what had happened. Not that she should, but she gave up just as easy because he did too. She'd put a wedge between them long before they stopped talking. 

Kate exited the pictures, needing to stop looking at them like a sad sack. She made the choice to stop talking, she needed space, time alone. Her finger hovered over the icon for her phone app. She could call him, but why? What would she even say? She'd probably freak out being sleep deprived and out of good ideas and quote that new Adele song. Kate groaned, now it was stuck in her head and she couldn't stop applying it to their current situation. They just never had a romantic relationship. 

She opened the phone app against her better judgement, she had to scroll a bit to find his name. Without giving herself a chance to back out, she pressed call and held the phone to her ear. Every ring made her anxious, it was late so it was probably just that he was asleep. The ringing stopped and she held her breath until the voice mail message came on. She heard the beep to leave a message and paused, listening to the silence. 

"Hello, it's me," she said and stopped before she started quoting more. He probably wouldn't even know of that song so she was safe. She waited, not sure what to say. "Do you ever just lay awake because you can't sleep because of all the shit you've done trying to help people?" She finally asked and then hung up. 

Kate sighed and stared at her ceiling. She was going to regret that. Either they started talking again and she still felt shitty or he ignored her, continuing the strained silence between them. After a couple minutes of staring she reached for her phone cord and plugged in her phone. Kate rolled away from it and closed her eyes, trying to sleep. 

Sleep felt like the furthest thing from her. She kept trying though, relaxing her muscles and trying to relax her mind as well. She heard the ping of a new text message and froze, going stiff. It was probably Billy, oh god please just be Billy, she thought as she grabbed her phone and looked at the new message. It was from Clint. 

"Yes" was all he'd typed.


End file.
